Music has been a constant thread throughout my life. Growing up in a musical household, I was surrounded by rhythm and melody—my mom sang, my dad played the piano, and both my brother and I picked up multiple instruments. From high school marching band to community wind ensembles as an adult, music has shaped my experiences, my identity, and even the way I process emotions.
One of my earliest memories of music as a shared experience comes from high school. In 3rd period band, our teacher would play tracks from all genres, exposing us to everything from classical to jazz to pop. It was more than just listening—it was a collective experience, a moment when an entire room of teenagers stopped, absorbed, and connected through sound. It’s something I miss—this kind of group consciousness that music can create. It wasn’t just the technical skill we honed, but the emotional resonance that each track evoked in us.
Music has always had that power—to bring people together, to elicit emotion, and to create memories. I think back to when Lauryn Hill was at her peak, or my first exposure to EDM in college, or attending concerts with the LA Philharmonic as a child. Each genre, each artist, carried its own emotional weight, imprinting specific memories and experiences in my mind.
I’m grateful for my life in music, but it hasn’t always been smooth. I got a B- in AP Music Theory in high school, and to be honest, I probably deserved worse. Yet, despite not being the best or most talented musician in a competitive world, I kept practicing. Music remained a constant in my life—not just a skill but a coping mechanism, a way to process emotions.
This is something I often share with my clients. Music has a unique ability to help us regulate emotions. Neurologically, music activates several areas of the brain simultaneously, particularly those involved in emotion, memory, and sensory processing. When I play my clarinet, I often close my eyes, let the music flow naturally, and allow myself to relive moments of the day or even dive into deeper memories. It’s a kind of musical meditation—one where I can express emotions that I sometimes can’t put into words.
Research supports this as well. Studies have shown that playing or listening to music can lower cortisol levels (the hormone associated with stress), increase dopamine (the feel-good neurotransmitter), and activate neural pathways related to emotion regulation and resilience. Music therapy has long been used as an intervention for anxiety, depression, trauma, and grief. Personally, I’ve experienced this firsthand—how music can transport me back to pivotal moments, like grieving my mom’s death at age 37, or the isolation I felt during the COVID lockdown. Even now, those memories hit differently with the passing of time, but music helps me process them in new ways.
As much as I’ve explored various genres, I’ve developed a soft spot for the Black Eyed Peas. I know people have strong opinions about their music, and honestly, I don’t care. There’s something about their energy, their positivity, and their connection to my college days that always lifts my mood. Fergie, a fellow native of my hometown, adds a personal touch to my admiration for them.
I recently found myself moved by one of their songs—not just the beat but the lyrics. The message resonated with me, and it made me think of a book I often recommend to my clients: Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson. The book outlines how we can train our brains to focus on the positive by consciously savoring good moments. According to Hanson’s research, it takes just a few seconds of intentional focus on something positive to start rewiring your brain. Over time, with practice, it becomes easier, more automatic to notice and appreciate the good things in life.
The song’s lyrics remind me of that concept—how being different, being kind, can truly transform your life. In a world that often feels overwhelming, music and mindfulness can ground us, helping us reconnect with the present, regulate our emotions, and foster a more optimistic mindset.
So if you’re feeling stuck, stressed, or overwhelmed, I encourage you to try this. Listen to something that lifts you up. Take a moment to truly hear it, feel it, and let it resonate. And if you’re looking for more ways to cultivate positivity, check out Hardwiring Happiness. It might just change your life.
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